Scatterbrain

This post was written a few weekends ago, and sortof abandoned. Just so you know, and aren't wondering about the timing on it.

I find that it has been difficult in the last year to find the good things in my life. Jobs always suck, people suck, car sucks, weather sucks, friends suck [sometimes]... Family is good, always, of course. But today, I found that there is still some good that can come from my young life. I am still very young, and I need to start living that way. It's silly to be 23 and feeling like a 30 year old. I have a lot of life ahead of me, and it's time I started living like a 23 year old and keeping that 30 year old maturity. So sometimes I have belching contests with myself in the car, So what! Any 30 year old can have that kind of fun, right? Right?

This weekend, I was inspired to sculpt something. It's been a long time since I've sculpted anything, so it was a little rocky. I feel bad though, because mom gave me the money to buy clay (the expensive bake in the oven stuff) and my sculpture turned out nothing like I had hoped. I'm just not any good anymore. I think I rushed myself, which tends to happen, and I was getting frustrated because I didn't have enough clay to do as much as I wanted. So I feel bad. I'm bummed. It looks like a high school kid did it, but I just don't know how to make my vision.

So I decided to paint it. It's taken me a few days, somewhat of an oddity since i usually rush through it to try and get my idea out on canvas/clay/paper. I'm happy with it right now. I can't wait to finish it. But I have a whole Tropical Depression/Storm thing to get through, so I'm pretty stoked. If you're wondring what it is, it's Pele. Not the soccer player, the Volcano Goddess. Maybe I'll post a pic of the botched clay project and the hopeful painting.

Something else happened to me. My friend called the local theatre company and told them I'd be interested in auditioning. So they set up a special audition time for me September 10th. So I have a month to get my voice back into the shape. It's been 5 years since i've stopped singing, and it has been about 5 years since i've stopped acting, and i've got a month to try and learn a monologue and piece of sheet music and not suck at it. I want to do well at this, but it's so stressful right now because of everything that is happening in my life. Plus, I don't want to disappoint my friend, or the theatre company, and I want to do a good job. I know, I know... I shouldn't worry about them, but anyone who knows me knows that i'm a perfectionist in all senses of the word, except when it comes to cleaning my room. Ha ha ha.

So, now this Tropical Depression [or TS or whatever it is] is coming this way and I have plenty of time to try and get my shit in a pile and work some aspects of my life out. I just hope the power doesn't go out. It's hard to paint by candlelight (and although most great painters did it, I'm not great, and I don't see that well.) Anyhoo, it's 2:30am, and I need to go to sleep. Peas out homies.