SHIT IS ALL APART!!!

I had to remind myself to blog. Sometimes it's hard to find the motivation. It's been kindof a bad couple of weeks.

I lost my job (I was working at MUSC as a transplant admin assoc.) because the room I was working in had mold, really bad, and I got sick. The doctor prick I went to wouldn't specify if it was from the mold or not (although I don't think it was a normal chest cold because I kissed my boyfriend SEVERAL times during the course of this cough and he has YET to be sick.) So they took me off the job I actually liked and put someone else in it. Now they haven't found a job for me and ONCE AGAIN I'm fucking jobless. There is nothing I can do because technically I'm a temp worker, and I don't work for MUSC, and the temp company I work for has their head up their asses and can't get me a new job. But at least I pointed out to MUSC that there was mold, and they knew about it, and they started to do something about it when I was there. I had actually started to make a friend down there, and i'm really upset that it didn't work out. I was happy for the first time in over a year with where I worked. My heart is broken, and even as I write this, it's bumming me out. Just as life was beginning to look up and I managed to PAY MY OWN BILLS the rug got pulled from under my feet. And life has been going down hill from there.

I have started to stay up late again, (a bad habit I had broken because of this job,) and in turn I am sleeping later and later, which is an annoyance to me and prevents me from doing my best to look for work and get my shit in a pile.

And god help me, I can't get my shit together in ALL my personal relationships either. I just keep fucking up one day at a time. This is all going to end up very badly for me. And i'm doing my best to prevent it.

I'm sorry for this sad post everyone. but i've got to get this shit off my chest.


Currently listening to: Boys for Pele', Tori Amos