Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Straight to Hell

Let me start by saying straight off that I'm not a catholic. I never went to catholic school, and I never knew any nuns. Let me also add that when I was younger, I used to believe that nuns were all like the ones in the Sound of Music, and were loving and sang beautifully. I even was a nun once for Halloween when I was quite a few years younger. I thought they were kind hearted old women, and naive younger women. What the hell did I know? I heard stories when I was older and met people who HAD gone to catholic school that nuns were mean because a life without sex had turned their insides into ash and they were sour about it. Let me reiterate: I'm not catholic.

So imagine my surprise when yesterday, I'm at work, truly minding my own business playing on the internet, and a short, fat nun marches herself right into my hotel and starts demanding all sorts of things. Huh. How odd. I looked at her with the same quizzical puzzlement that a dog does at high pitched noises.

The situation goes like this.
-Woman calls and makes reservation for a Suite for 5 nights for Nun and Friend to be paid for by the school they work for, however, leaves no credit card authorization for us to charge her, leaving us to assume that the guest themselves (the nun and her friend) will be paying.
-Nun and friend do not want to share a suite for 5 days, so they ask for a second room on the second day (this is requested at the time the reservation is made.) No extra rooms are available on the first day. Due to some glitch, no reservation is made for the second room the second day (most likely because there ARE no rooms on the second day) and so nun and friend are SOL on the second room.
-Nun and Friend (friend is also not so pleasant, may I add) arrive, not aware that they are scheduled to be paying for the room, nor are they aware that second room has not been booked, and someone will be on a pull out for 5 days.

Enter: Innocent Worker. Myself. 9:45, my mind is fried, I've had a bad day, and I'm really not in the mood to deal with any shit. In marches Nun with friend in tow, wanting their way around this place because by God they deserve it, evidently.
When I told the short fat hobbit about the room situation, and about the paying, and about the 2nd room second night, and the authorizations, all hell broke loose from a woman who's supposed to have an in into heaven. The minute I told her she and her friend didn't actually have the proper authorization papers to use someone else's credit card, the bitch went wild on me. Yes I just called a nun the bitch. She raised her voice, and aside from stamping her little foot, basically threw the biggest temper tantrum I've ever seen a woman of around 65 throw.

I stood back stunned, and did everything I could to suppress the urge to call the men in the white jackets. We called the principal, I got the telephone auth, and I calmly sent them on their evil way.

Cut to: 14 Hours later. Nun and friend march back into my lobby, both scowling at me. I have a lobby FULL of people, and two people on the front desk simply isn't enough right now. Luckily, two of the greatest managers were there to help me out. So Nun and friend march up to the desk demanding their second room. OH YEAH!!! FUCK! I had forgotten to ask the lady on the phone last night to get authorization for a second room because I was truly trying to get evil ones out of my face. And, do we even HAVE a room for 5 nights that one of these ho's can stay in. Shit. So I look around, and it turns out I only have a suite. Fat hobbit is mouthing off and blabbing about how My Hotel needs to train their front desk staff a lot better, (my manager is standing at the station next to me) and all i can do is just smile and grit my teeth and say, "Madam, all the training in the world could not have helped this situation." They shrug and say, "well, do what you can." No problem. I am. At that, I have lost it. I go back to my other manager and tell him I'm having a bit of trouble and cannot get my shit together with this situation. He's cool. He goes out there, and tells me to go ahead and make the reservation and use the auth on file.

These woman's names are Mary LastName and Sister Margaret Mary Nunbitch. I was looking at the paper, and got the names wrong, and typed in "Mary Nunbitch". Margaret Nunbitch says loudly, "Ha ha ha ha! She Got my name wrong. I'm MARGARET Nunbitch. Not Mary. And I'm not moving rooms. Mary Lastname is. My goodness. (eyeroll)"

Ok folks. Here it is. The clincher.

I wanted to punch a nun.

She embarrassed me in front of a lobby full of people because I couldn't remember her name (I see 65 people every day, all different, it can be difficult to remember names.) At that point she became no longer a nun but a target. I quickly got their room keys and sent them on their fat ways. All I could think was "Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you I'm so going to hell fuck you fuck you fuck you."

I'm going straight to hell.



Actually, I think she is goign to hell (or they), for not being nice to a poor unsuspecting employee. If they bothered to take their heads out of their habit-covered asses and put themselves in your shoes, they probably would have toned down the irritating behaviour. I'm sure that being selfish and self-centered is a sin. If it's not, it's still damn annoying.

9:42 PM  

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