Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Be drinkable

My toilet has been broken since I moved in (January.) The one part that sticks up from the water feed is broken, it has been since I've been here. So, the other day at midnight I decided I would fix it. I was tired of it pissing me off all the time. I started and took the whole thing apart, NOT KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT THE HELL I WAS DOING, (although it is pretty self explanatory) and emptied the tank and took all the parts out etc... and went to put in the new parts. I got most of them in, but the one part that is actually broken was the wrong size, and it stuck like 2 inches out of the toilet! So I put it all back together with some of the old parts, and I put some of the new parts and replaced some of the older crappy rusted ones, and now my toilet runs constantly and I have to adjust it with a screwdriver. Since I have to continually adjust it to make it stop running, I have to leave the lid off. If I flush it with the lid off, water comes out of the broken part and squirts everywhere all over the wall. If I flush it without the lid on, water squirts everywhere, but I have to leave the lid off because I have to keep adjusting it with the fucking screwdriver. So at 2am I'm still in my dream with Orlando Bloom and PEEP I get sprayed with a tiny squirt of cold water. Thanks.

I am no plumber, but I did in fact have it in working condition for a period of about 20 seconds. The actual PART is broken, its nothing I did [so you know all you naysayers.] But another thing that happens is when any faucet in the apartment [mom's shower, the sink in the kitchen, the other bathroom sink , my bathroom sink, the dishwasher, the washing machine, or my parents toilet] is activated and water is in fact running through the pipes, and it turns off and they turn the faucet off, my toilet halfway flushes. (You know at the end of the flush right before it turns off it makes that whssshhhh noise? Yeah, that.)It does that.

Indoor plumbing is a great thing, it's fun to kinda see how it works, but now I have to go get some fucking parts that fit!!!
All in all, it taught me that a hammer is not necessary when trying to get the tube out of the thing.

And always have a towel.

Friday, April 21, 2006

The secret...

As I have stated before, I work at a hotel. The name and location of this hotel shall go undisclosed (of course). I work in a reasonably nice hotel, with very nice rooms. The hotel itself is a million times nicer than the ones I worked in previous, however, they are all successful for the same reason. And it's not why you think. Shitty red roof inn has shitty rooms, shitty employees, and shitty management. Holiday Inns/Super 8 had shitty rooms, shitty employees, and shitty management. Granted, those hotels paid us for shit and the rooms were dirt cheap, so you would expect so much, but maybe not so from a nicer hotel. However, a lot of nice hotels have shitty management, and employees that don't care. ahem.

Regardless of the hotel though, people continue to stay at even the shittiest of hotels, and LEAVE HAPPY! Why is this you say? How can people have a totally shitty time and still leave happy?

It is not because everyone needs a hotel to stay when they travel. If that were the only reason hotels were successful, then there would be no need for hookers, drug dealers, and adulterists.

It is not because the hotels care for the guest, and the guests needs. Most of the time, we could give a shit. It's all a front. We just want to shut you up so you don't go reporting us to our boss company, and making us look bad on Trip Advisor. (Oh yeah, I'm all about customer service.)

It is also not because the rooms are clean or even comfortable. All I have to say for that is, People still stay at the red roof inn. It obviously doesn't matter.

So what is our secret? Hotels do not need good management (obviously), decent rooms, or even decent rates. The only thing hotels need to keep the customers happy are beds, coffee and newspapers.

It occurred to me at 8:38 am this morning when our copies of USA TODAY arrived 2 hours late and I was faced with a lobby full of 55 unhappy people with 35 more on the way because the precious had stopped dripping momentarily, and the newspapers were not here yet. They do not care about customer service, although they do put a lot of emphasis on it. Nope, all they care about is that you have a bed for them to sleep on, you have coffee for them to drink, and a newspaper to keep them updated on the "daily events."

Don't believe me? Travel 5 hours to another town for Memorial Day weekend, and call any place the day before to see if they have rooms. No rooms, right? See how pissed off you are?

Wake up at 5am to go to a 12 hour work day, and go downstairs to the lobby to see that there isn't any coffee made so you can wake your ass up. No coffee, right? See how pissed off you are?

Put yourself in an anal businessman's shoes for just a moment. (Just a moment don't get crazy on me.) Lets say you just MUST know who won that Mets game last night (even though you watched it on the telly) and what the wanker from USA today thought about the players, and the truck that brings the papers broke down on the way to the hotel. See how pissed off you are, you anal bastard?

You have to understand, people don't care about televisions, clean bathrooms, nice polite employees, even cockroaches as long as you have room for them, coffee, and reading material. The red roof inn was the worst hotel I've ever been to, and people didn't say shit about the cockroaches, the horrible rooms, and the fuckin bitch at the front desk that pissed EVERYONE ELSE off because we had coffee, lots of room, and newspapers. We could've charged $150.00 for those rooms and people STILL would've stayed there.

Think about it. It goes back to Jesus. "No room for you, you married couple. You should've made reservations. It's Christmas, afterall." "What's that Joseph? You want some fucking coffee? You didn't pay for a room here! You want coffee get your ass over to starbucks!" "What's that Mary? You're bored after having the baby and need some bed time reading material? Tough shit, get off your ass and get yourself to a newspaper stand." I think that would've brought the wrath of god a lot sooner than expected...

So see, it's a very simple equasion. Drug+Sleep+Information= quiet customer. And you thought this whole time this business was about "Hospitality." Lets just hope I don't get blacklisted.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Waking up to new hair

So I got a haircut this week. And I'm someone who....well I've had short hair my whole life. The longest I ever had my hair was last month when it was just past my shoulders. The shortest I've ever had my hair was when I went to get a trim at graduation and the lady lopped off 2 inches of a 4 inch hair style. Whoops.

I'm not used to long hair. When my hair is long, I wear it out of my face simply because I am used to it that way, and when it gets in my face I get annoyed and sometimes get angry.

So imagine my surprise when I walked into the salon and I had my hair back in a big clip, and I sit down, tell the guy "yo, I want something that I can do really fast because I like to wake up 2 minutes before I have to leave for POS job, and ta da. And I want something different."

Ladies and gentlemen, I went from looking like this:

To looking like this:

I think it's a pretty big improvement! My hair is naturally red, and when I wear it up, I look a lot younger than I really am. I'm often mistaken for a kid in high school, (for instance, when guests are checking in during the day, they tell me, "Shouldn't you be in school about now?") So, when my guy made my hair look like the picture of Tori above, I was shocked at how old I looked!! I couldn't believe it. And it really looked like that too!!!

My mom was sitting at the salon with me, and she was surprised as I was. She was glad I didn't look like I was 12 anymore.

My dad was out of town for the week, and came home Saturday night. I had mousse in my hair all day (And it was up cuz it was gross), so when I got home from work, I thought, oh I'll surprise him! I acted like I hadn't changed anything, left the clip in, and after some chit chat, I showered. I then dried my hair, almost as cute as the man had done at the stylish place, and said (as I came out of my bedroom) "Look dad! I got a new hair cut!"

I saw a man elate and unravel all at the same time. He was so suprised and glad! Then he looked closer, and I could've swore I saw a glint of tear in his eye. Please understand, this is a man who thinks I should still be/look like:

But I look like:

I'm quite happy with my new hairdo. I hope I'll be able to get the hang of drying it and doing it everyday. It sure hasn't worked yet, but I'll do my best.

And one day I hope my hair will be this long, and look something like this. ==========>

It's become curly as it's gotten longer, which is a new phenomenon to me because my hair has been straight my whole life. I'll take the gentle curls it offers, as long as it doesn't poof.

I will someday show you a picture of me as a short haired pixie, but I've got to find one that doesn't embarrass me. :)

Currently listening to:
The Beekeper - Tori Amos (And you wonder why I have all the Tori references?)

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Auditon my ass

Due to a glitch in someone's brain, I've ended up working another night audit shift. It was originally supposed to be one, but i decided to go ahead and work the audit shift for tonight too, to make the transition a little easier. (Plus, I got to sleep in today ha!) The hotel is quiet, full, and happy. Like a baby. In about 3 hours, whiny tennis players will be awaking to the smell of yummy coffee in the lobby, even if it isn't starbucks.

This is not a post about my hotel. I'm just kindof rambling here, so bear with me y'all. i'd even understand if you skipped over this.

I've been looking at monologues to pick out to do for auditions. I want to get a bunch of them, and have them all really polished, and then when i go to an audition and the director says, "yeah, that was great. now make me laugh." I'll have no problem having two right there. ba boom.

It then occurred to me that I've done some wierd auditions in my past, and have gotten some good shit out of some very shitty audtions. Most notably my acceptance and scholarship to Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle, WA for that SHITTY video audition of me as the "chewley's gum representative" from Clerks. CLERKS!!! HEL-LOO!!! You do not do some material from clerks to get into a fucking arts college dummy. But it worked!

I'm excited to be auditioning again. I keep getting bummed about college because of how much it's going to cost, but then i remember, I can act. i can sing! I can get SCHOLARSHIPS!!!! This is a new feeling for me, so i'm excited to see how it comes out.

And, I'm excited to see who i meet on this path. I don't like a vast majority of theatre people, because i'm not like most of them. And the vast majority of theatre people I know are from Casper, Wyoming. I mean, there is the problem right there. But there are a few i can take in large doses, [Kirby might be the only one i can speak that is a true theatre gnome that i can take for more than 20 minutes] but for the most part, theatre folk annoy me. In high school I hung out with all of the theatre kids, but the people I was closest to were not of that breed either. A writer, a Director, and a sexy bitch made up my close friends, and I was probably the most "theatre geekiest" of them all, just my eccentricites alone. When I got to college though, I saw the type of people I had once seen eye to eye with become people I wouldn't want to be near if my life depended on it. I guess the drugs and alcohol didn't help a lot, but WOW there are some strange folks. A year away at college with a down to earth director/runner can do a lot for perspectives. Even the people we hung out with in greeley weren't that strange. But that's Wyoming for you. I'm excited to see if as I've grown up, the theatre people are different as well, and I'd like to see if the different regions of the country make up how the different theatre people behave. Like I say, the difference between Colorado theatre folk and Wyoming theatre folk is Night and day. But either way, it will be nice to be around people who have something in common with me again, regardless of if they wear ben nye everyday, or if they are just like me.

So, maybe someday I'll audition and get the roll i've been waiting for. Maybe i'll audition and get a scholarship that's useful, and maybe someday I'll be able to step on stage again and really mean it. Maybe someday i'll be a real triple threat. But until that day comes, I have an awful lot of auditions to go to.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Feeling Bloggy

Well, I know I'm a lazy asshoooollle and haven't been blogging lately. But right now, I'm feeling like I finally have something to share. So I'm giving you all a chance to glimpse into the life of A....Well... Whatever you want to call me. :D

Work has sucked this week. *edit

So it's this shitty week of work that has put me in a position I don't like to be in. "Up in the air" as some formal scholars call it. I'm up in the air on what to do.

I'm remembering painfully as it may be, that Denver was difficult for me to live in. While I love it there, and always will, I remember that most of the time, it did not lend itself to my good mental health. Not only that, but it is drab there 7 months out of the year, and that was also difficult to deal with. (south Carolina is green 12 months of the year.)

HOWEVER Denver does allow me to be near my brother and sister(inlaw) and nephew. I cannot stand to be so far away from that. And, Denver has several colleges I'm interested in as far as getting back into the swing of things. And even better, Denver is also near Ft Collins and boulder which also have decent colleges and are not far from nephewbrothersisterinlaw but are in towns that are of manageable size for me.

So why am I telling you all this, AGAIN?
My mom.

Today my mom brought up a question to me that I had not thought about in ages, but have been thinking about for about a month. "What exactly is preventing you from going back to the stage, and why did you stop?" (Fast history lesson for those who don't know. I belong on stage. Period.)

Good question mom. And after I have been thinking about this for several weeks, and talking to her about it, (moms are the best for advice) it has occurred to me that I'm an idiot, and never should have left. I should have received the training I needed, because with the bare talent I've got, some training can't hurt, and I could probably go far with an education in it. And I was an idiot to let some asshole from bumfuck Wyoming let me feel the way I did and talk me out of theatre. OF COURSE I HATED IT BACK THEN!!! LOOK WHERE I WAS!! [adjacent picture is of mars surface, but most Wyomingnites recognize it as the road outside of Gillette.] Wyoming has the theatrical equivalent of a monkey picking his nose. I mean really, it is Wyoming. [And all you hardcore wyomingnites out there, you can kiss my ass because I tried working the Wyoming theatre scene since I understood what it was, and there is SHIT to be had there.]

SO what the hell goddess. Who fucking cares? This is my up in the air situation. I'm going back to the stage, like it or hate it. And I can think of about 20 people who will be glad to hear that news. But my little blue world turns upside down when I have to decide what exactly to do here. Do I stay in south Carolina, get a shitty education from a shitty community college I can afford try out for lots of plays, etc... Make as much money as possible, or do I pay out of my asshole for an online community college I can't afford get my associates online, audition for assloads of plays, take what I get, and move to Denver or Seattle, (or even better CORK *wink*) for school, and then move on? And from there what?! I'm up in the air here!!! And it's driving me nuts!!

Nobody cares about this shit, and I understand this. But this is a blog. Weblog. So, fortunately, in the Log [journal] part of blog, I'm allowed to spew useless information. Millions of other people do it. (ha) And this so shall be my first step of personal useless information. Maybe not the first step. Ok. Maybe this is like my 7th month or so of this step. But this is about as personal as I get on here. Most of my blog is about how shitty my job is, and how funny it can be. But this, my friends, is personal. This is seriously something I'm struggling with. Not to mention the 8,000 other things. Boys, money, school, parents, independence, self image [shut up], TURTLES, cats, and little boys at baseball games. I'm going to think about all of this. And I'm going to let you all in on the following events!

Starting with the demise of the once wonderful job. [evil laugh]